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“It was a bunch of libraries in New York,” Secretary of the Treasury Steven Mnuchin said yesterday. This announcement ended two weeks of frenzied speculation in Washington as economists and pundits struggled to determine the reason why the National Debt was effectively doubled by a sudden jump of $22 trillion on March 14. Mnuchin explained that a consortium of libraries in suburban New York recently implemented a new software system. Glitches in the software governing overdue fines led to the sudden surge.Read More Read More

Things are looking up for the Library after $22 trillion suddenly appeared in the institution’s checking account. Discounting any possibility of an error, Library Director Laura Eckley insisted it was an anonymous donation. “I don’t know who put it there, but I could kiss him or her!” gushed Eckley. “Things had been getting tight budgetarily what with the 2% property tax cap and all. That extra $22 trillion is really going to come in handy for our next budget. Make it rain!”Read More Read More

One feature of the new catalog that has everyone excited is its smell. Inspired by the computer system’s name, Evergreen, the aroma exuded by computers running the new catalog has been described by superlatives ranging from alpine meadow, to redwood forest, to burning christmas tree and to New York City taxi air freshener.

Library tech guru Frank Connelly explained that hard drives running Evergreen rotate atRead More Read More

This morning the title of every item in the Library’s brand new catalog was somehow changed to The Da Vinci Code. Every book, every music cd, every DVD, every blu-ray, every everything is now called The Da Vinci Code. “This is not a bug, it’s a feature,” said Head of Reference Liam Hegarty. “The Da Vinci Code was one of the most popular books ever written. Everybody loves The Da Vinci Code! I’m sure all our patrons will be happy to get it again.”Read More Read More

Bugs in the new computer system are slowly being worked out. We think the Great Holds Issue is being resolved, but have not yet received a victory announcement from the Westchester Library System. If you think your holds have disappeared, don’t “replace” them. We’ve made a little cheatsheet about searching for things and placing holds. Copies are available at the Information Desk. Our catalog computers and self-checks have not yet adjusted to the new system but they will. The WLS app doesn’t work. We’d like to thank all our patrons for their patience and good cheer.Read More Read More

Sharp-eyed patrons may have noticed new posters on various tables throughout the Library. Each one features a local author reading a banned book. This is our way of celebrating both the Freedom to Read and Larchmont’s intellectual vitality. Libraries across the nation have similarly themed displays as part of Banned Book Week.Read More Read More