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Tomorrow night’s Suburban Survival program, “How to reconnect your home to the electrical grid,” has been cancelled because of the forecasted snow.  Next month’s program, “Simple tree removal,” will go on as scheduled. When we get dates for “Filling potholes for dummies” and “Hot coffee when your house is cold and dark,” it will be posted here.Read More Read More

Next Thursday, Librarian Frank Connelly will demonstrate the newest eReader technology. This new device circumvents the need to actually read anything, Connelly explained. “The echolocation feature takes a few minutes to locate my brain and then, all of a sudden, Whammo! The book is stuck into my consciousness. The hardest part is hooking up all the wires!”Read More Read More

Every year New York’s Teen Librarians wait for the Department of Education’s announcement of the Teen Summer Reading Title with keen anticipation. “I have to say, War and Peace took me by surprise a bit,” said Teen Librarian Kim Larsen. “I mean it’s a good book and all, but it might be a little hard to relate to for many of our teens.” The secretive book selection process has come under suspicion in recent years. Read More Read More

Patrons can rest assured that our wifi service will remain uninterrupted. “With this new Very Large Wifi Array we can go back to within milliseconds of the Big Bang in search of the slightest wifi signal,” gushed Library Director Laura Eckley. “No piddly Nor’easter is going to mess with our signal again.” Numerous patrons glanced up from their phones to rave about the new service. “Good,” said one.Read More Read More

When it only provided hot drinks, our new coffee bar was pretty popular. Now only the most verbose patronsRead More Read More

Libraries are at the forefront of the battle against so-called fake news and the Larchmont Public Library is doing its part. “I was shocked to learn that not one book in the fiction section is factual,” Director Laura Eckley stated. “It’s all made up. Somebody sat down and wrote it right out of ideas in their head. Just like that!”Read More Read More

Patrons upset over the “deafening silence” in the newly remodeled Laager Reading Room presented a petition to Library Director Laura Eckley demanding that something be done. “I don’t really care what they do,” one distressed patron said. “They could even put a cuckoo clock in there. Something… anything to break the monotony of nothing. When Read More Read More